This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
God I need to hump something, right now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
