Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
