Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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