He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
