I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
