I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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