make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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