i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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