Say something about gay babies.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
