Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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