I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
