also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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