do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
