winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
