Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
