Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
its not stalking. its research.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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