He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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