it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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