Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
