But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
