Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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