Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
