Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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