Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
