What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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