which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
