Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The feeling are messing with the penis
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
