I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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