a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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