dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
