we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
