bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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