everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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