The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
