she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
