I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
