So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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