We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
