Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
