2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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