He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
