So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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