Whod you bang
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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