R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
