i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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