This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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