"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
