how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
