.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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