i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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