So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
