You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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