you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
