went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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