she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
