You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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