also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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