oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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