if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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