so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I cut my penus on the lid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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