he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
